I am aware that this is the part of the sales pitch where I'm supposed to tell you that it's actually not as expensive, as involved, as outlandish of a concept as you might think.
I am not going to tell you this.
Because you really are crazy.
So am I.
Good projects always start with good wood. We source and select each hardwood board that
is perfectly suited to the project. It's not cheap, but wood is a natural substance:
Every board is unique, and you can't just order a board and hope for the best. We buy
from local specialty hardwood suppliers, always in-person. It takes me hours each time I
go. Some might say that's because I like that store, but shush you because that's
not the point right now.
The point is that you're not normally going to find our materials at a blue or
orange hardware store.
There is a reason that we make furniture the old-fashioned way.
We use
Mortise-and-tenon joinery, not glues*, screws*, hopes and prayers. The wood shavings you see
in the background of this website? These aren't stock photos; they're from my shop. Real
shavings that came from my jack plane as I was working on a commission.
Try it! Do
a reverse image search. You won't find a stock photo anywhere on this website. It's all
custom and handmade, just like everything else we do. This site
is even custom: No templates here, all coded by hand.
Every need is unique. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and if you are going to be commissioning custom woodworks, it had better be perfect. That’s why we recommend you visit our lovely shop in El Cajon, not far at all from beautiful downtown San Diego, California.
You want a light-up Cross that changes color with music? We got you. Laser engraving with
whatever pattern you want? No problem. How about a spanking bench that flashes with light
every time it detects an impact? Inlays and infill? Try any color of the rainbow. Your
choice of wood, your color, your body dimensions and shapes. Does it need to break down and
fit in a Honda Civic? Bring your car and we’ll make something that fits perfectly. Need a
case for it? Built-in assembly and disassembly tools? Storage? Rope? Bombs? You got it my
friend. As long as you have the rupees. Sorry, Link, I don’t give credit. Come back when
you’re a little mmmmmmmm…..richer Sorry, I blacked out for a second there. What
were we talking about? Right. Pretty much anything you need we can make happen. We are a
full wood, metal, and plastic prop shop with a really big laser cutter. We specialize in
wood, but we can make metal and upholstery happen, no problem.
To ensure a happy ending.
We use hard wax finishes to provide a durable,
repairable surface that is moisture-repellant and accentuates the natural beauty of the
wood. Every surface is sanded and rounded, with little details added everywhere they would
be most helpful.
Laser engraving, cutting, and paint is of course also an option, included with every commission.
To be perfectly honest with you, it’s to finance the art we make. Installation art and interactive games don’t pay the bills. Kink might at first seem unrelated, but the whole purpose of both is to help people embrace a new aspect of themselves and the rules in which they can interact with the world and each other. And that’s what Kink is all about! So we see this as a natural extension of that mission. That, and there’s a deep satisfaction to making furniture that will last a lifetime.
Good question! Correct question. Fair question. After all, my workshop is full of sharp tools, and my history of stabbing every 16th person who walks through my front door is -admittedly- concerning. However, the bodies are *very* well hidden and- oh. Oh, you’re worried about me stealing your deposit? Oooooohhh! Well in that case we can use PayPal Business purchase protection, or you can show up in person with friends to check out my very not-going-to-murder-you shop.
Email me at Arcanistor@oakandthornwood.com
or
Send a personal message on FetLife
or
Securely message me on Signal
or
Find me on Discord @Arcanistor